When I got pregnant with my first son my plan was to be a single mom...and then I met a guy who was definitely not 'the guy'...2 years later divorced and broke as a single mom. 

After pulling my sh*t together and re-grouping on a new life direction, I decided to go back to school and get a degree in Psychology...

In the midst of that I got pregnant with my second son. He was born at 35 weeks and with an unexpected rare genetic disorder. Nearly two months in the NICU, with my older son getting to spend every weekend at the Ronald McDonald house (of which we broke all the rules because we had too) - why because I had no family nearby so he could stay home. After three years of joy, a revolving door of caregivers and frequent hospitalizations, Lucas died just after his third birthday. 

Once again, back to pulling my sh*t together!

Most of my single parenting years I spent working multiple part-time jobs and a few entrepreneurial ventures in an effort to stick to my values of not wanting to put my boys in daycare 40-50 hours a week. I was in constant opportunity mode looking for ways to make side money so I could provide above their basic needs. Having the opportunity to go to private school, summer camp, play recreation sports, play dates, big birthday parties and new clothes when they actually needed them was important to me. I gladly did without so they could have...like most single mom's.  

As a single mom when fathers are not present in the home or absent for any reason – in some ways we fill both roles of the mother and the father. But, in reality, in case you're wondering a mother cannot replace a father or the role of a second parent. 

As a single mom there’s no one to back you up. There’s no one to edify you. There's no one to give you a break. There’s no one to discuss decisions with. There's no one to help with homework. You run all the errands. You do all the cooking. The budgeting. THE WHOLE THING.

I remember a time when I needed brakes on my car and didn’t have the money to get them replaced – I went through a yellowish (maybe red) traffic light and a cop didn’t like it – while we waited for him to approach the window, my son said 'mom do you think if you tell him you need brakes he’ll understand?'  

Here's the thing...my story is NOT unusal. There are thousands of mom's right here in our community that could write something very similar.

And that's exactly why this became a passion project.

And I hope you will join us in this act of kindness to make some single moms' Christmas EXTRA-ordinary.

Our Story

Adopt-a-Single-Mom for Christmas was inspired by a similar adopt-a-mom program by one of founder, Donna Nelson's friends in upstate New York. She was inspired by the idea and recognizing the huge need in her own community of Northeastern Pennsylvania that she adopted the program specifically for single mom's in her area who fall into the invisible gap.

The single mom's in this 'gap' are the one's who make too much money to qualify for any community assistance programs that have an income guideline requirement. Plenty of them live paycheck to paycheck and often lack the resources for financial security especially during the holidays and winter.

They are the families overlooked as needing support by the community because they are high functioning and self-sufficient.

She is the single mom who shows up to work with a smile on her face hoping the school doesn't call to come pick up a sick kid because she can't afford to lose time off work. 

She often suffers in silence from lonliness and depression because she doesn't have the connection and social outlets that other mom's have with more family and financial resources.

Did you know single mom’s rarely have gifts for themselves to open on Christmas morning? 

WHY WE NEED TO HELP

2016 Statistics There are 14,376 Single Mom homes in Luzerne and Lackawanna Counties of Pennsylvania.

7,664 of them are in the GAP above poverty level. 

THESE MOM’S OFTEN ARE INVISIBLE AND FALL OFF THE RADAR OF THE COMMUNITY BECAUSE THEY DON’T QUALIFY FOR MANY OR ANY SERVICES.

Single mom's will skip paying their household bills to buy Christmas gifts for her kids

I know this mom profile all too well because it was me. Living just above broke, and over compensating with my boys to make up for the lack in other areas of their life.  

Single mom's often sacrifice their own health and self-care because they lack family support to take the time

These are the mom’s who are the over-givers and very often will become sick because of chronic stress and worry, and her self-care sucks. 

She is living paycheck to paycheck. Any kind of out of the ordinary expense creates a financial crisis. The car breaks down; unexpected illness and missed time from work; layoff from business relocation or down sizing (it happened to me), death of a spouse or child leaving them with expenses and loss of income (yup, my youngest son died at 3 years old); divorce and absentee fathers (yup! x2 on the deadbeat dads). 

They tell their kids NO way too often for things that are really common for most other kids like field trips, seeing the latest and greatest movie, hitting the McDonald’s drive thru just for fun, sports activities because they are too expensive...or they rely on grandparents to cover these "extras".

This occurs in part because often family is far away or not available to help take the edge off with taking the kids for a few hours or a few days – leaving mom’s always on in referee and caregiver mode. 

Often she can’t afford a babysitter to get time away to relax and reboot, or worse she feels guilty and undeserving.  

HOW WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE

It is our hope that our small contribution will express to these mom’s they are not forgotten, and that they are valued and supported. That they in fact are not invisible - we see them, we understand, and we care. 

As women and important contributors to our society, we want to give them a nudge of encouragement, and hope they feel inspired to keep going and being the best they can – and when they can, they’ll pass it on...and with that, we have started an important shift in connection with humanity that will change our community in countless ways. 

To honor these single mom's during this season of love and giving we are collecting monetary and in-kind donations to buy these mom's who live Luzerne or Lackawanna County a special gift just for HER to open on Christmas Day. 

$100 allows us to provide a variety special gifts for mom.

You can donate any amount. 

2018 Volunteer Circle